Today I met up with a friend I've had since 7th grade. She was talking to me about child carrying/birthing/raising. She's a little anxious about it. It got me thinking and I want to release on it lol so here is a break in our regularly scheduled blogs on makeup, nail polish and shopping for a little girl talk.
My points here are general, they aren't going to be 100% on point with everyones lifestyle, but thats what the comments section is for!
Here is my view on it. There is NOTHING in life that is going to be 100% fool proof. Everything has it's ups and downs and you just need to take it and roll. If you want kids, have em. If there isn't one iota of want in your body, then don't. Don't let anyone decide FOR you. It's your body.
Carrying the baby and the child birth are the easy parts. Healing from the whole ordeal is the worst part. I loveddddd being preggo.
With my first I was SOOOO sick. I actually lost 20 pounds in the first 5 months. Everything under the sun was used to try and help with the sickness. Organic, Wives tales, prescription SUPPOSITORIES (yes I went there).... We found out it was because of the prenatal vitamins. I switched to Flinstones Vitamins twice a day and was fine. The rest of my pregnancy, thankfully, had no other complications. I swolled up a lot, but was fine. I craved steak, potatoes, pizza, orange soda, cereal (Lucky Charms!).
Owen came 2 weeks early. I had no painful contractions. I actually had to FAKE them to get admitted at the hospital. (FYI I had a REALLY bad experience at the first hospital we went to, the second one (MAGEE) was a dream) Before they checked me out they were already talking about sending me home... til they did their feel around and saw I was 5 cm dilated and 100% effaced. "You're having this baby today."
I say take the drugs. I'm terrified of needles and pain in general. The epidural was nothing. You'll be ok. I've hidden behind chairs and plants from nurses with needles (at a lot older of an age than I care to admit), and I did not even tear up at the epi.
I did have my son that day. And he came out ripping me apart (literally). I got stitched up and sent home with a weeks worth of percocet. FOR EIGHT WEEKS I was in MAJOR pain. After your week of perks they give you Darvocet. Don't even waste your time taking that. It doesn't help. (BIG TIP, the hospital will have pads for your bleeding that double as ice packs. TAKE AS MANY HOME AS YOU CAN. Don't feel bad, your insurance is paying for this all anyway, so regardless you'll be charged whether or not you take them). I've been offered Darvocet by a Dr. for a different reason afterwards and I laughed at them. I call them fake pills. You're better off taking an extra strength Tylenol. Anyway, I sat on a breast feeding pillow for those 8 weeks and couldn't even do a #2 for over a week. I DO feel a lot of my discomfort came because of the hospital I went to. They were pretty careless and, with the exception of my Doctor and 1 nurse, I don't recommend ANY one that I came into contact with there.
With my second child I tried the pre-natals and started to feel the nausea again after a week. I immediately switched to the Flinstones. No puking. I had the easiest pregnancy with Lydia and got A LOT bigger with her. I was a moose. No swelling or sickness though. I craved mostly fruit and chocolate.
Lydia also came 2 weeks early. I had a lot more Braxton Hicks with her, but still nothing too painful. They actually induced me because I was kind of hitting that point and ready to go, but normally they'd have sent me home.. except for the blizzard outside. So I walked around for about a day and then at the wee hours I was induced. It was ok though, Magee Women's Hospital has some awesomeeeeee food. Which I wasn't allowed to enjoy until AFTER I gave birth, but Jeff did lol I adored everyone there and I didn't tear with Lydia!! WOOT! However... I was still getting horrible cramping a week later and clotting a lot... the did an ultrasound and I still had some stuffs floating around. Eventually it passed but they do have to remove it if not.
We never took birthing or parenting classes with either kid. Friends told us they were worthless. I never even changed a diaper before my kids. We were fine and were happy we didn't waste the money. Always your choice though! All we signed up for was a free tour of the hospital and really I only wanted to do that to peek at the new babies lol Plus they give you tips on how to get free parking and all that.
A few other points:
Have em early. The older you and your signifcant other (SO) become, the more likely your child could have something wrong. It's not just YOUR age that's a factor, ladies... it's SO's too! I was one of those crazies who bought a medical book when I was pregnant. I didn't want to read "what to expect when you're expecting". TBH I flipped through it, and it's ridiculous. I wanted the straight-forward-no-holds- barred-heres-whats-going-down book. If somethings wrong with my kid, I don't want 5 professionals to have to come in to explain it to me, I want to just KNOW.
And seriously.. my kids are SO active and ... well.... crazy.. lol that there is no WAY I could chase a little on around if I was older. I'm a fatty. We don't run.
Money. Most people will get help from family and friends. Not everyone, but there are ways around the huge costs. There are countless blogs, websites, foundations... help IS out there. You just have to look. I love to go to mamapedia.com to ask questions, get advice... plus if you join a mommy group you have a nice outlet plus those moms are always willing to share/donate time, advice, formula, strollers... you name it!
You'll likely get a baby shower. Register. There are things the experts SAY you need that you aren't going to need. Take a friend with you that has a couple kids to get it narrowed down. It'll save you money like no other. We didn't have to buy diapers for the first year after we had our son.
Go to a place like Sams Club or CosCo to get the diapers and formula. You'll save a ton.
DO NOT buy things like cribs, car seats, strollers... etc from a yard sale. You have no idea if the items were recalled or were even fixed properly if they WERE recalled. However, you CAN buy these things at Once Upon a Child (kids stuff reseller - locally I know of one in Monroeville PA) because they have to have proof of the recall being fixed or they can't accept the item.
The experts. Sometimes I feel these experts talk out of their ass. Some stuff they say is valid. But after a year of trying it "their way" aka "the right way" I came to realize that there IS no right way, there is only the way that works for YOU.
I'm a stay at home mom with 2 kids. Owen will be 4 in October 2010 and Lydia will be 2 in February 2011. I wear yoga pants/capris everyday and rarely is my hair dried, styled or worn down. I usually have food, spit, drink... crap... you name it... somewhere on my person and don't know it. I dye my hair because it's seriously gone grayyyyyyy in the past few years. I blame hubby and kiddies ;) 9 times out of 10 if I go out for lunch, dinner, or really any reason at all... my kids are with me. Which is a little annoying =\ I'm not gonna lie... they will run your life a bit but you need to control that straight on. I am fortunate to have parents on both ends that are willing to babysit every once in awhile, though we're careful not to take advantage of that.
Would I change anything? Not for the WORLD.
PS ~ Thanks for listening. I could go ON and ON about so many different points... there are just so many areas in having kids. If you want to leave a comment and discuss any sort of area or aspect about kids, or even message me privately please do!! My writing is probably erratic because my son is singing along to Hi-5 as I type and I'm singing too lol
I'm sorry if anything was offensive and I'm sure I missed a few things. Like I said, these are just my thoughts and what works for me in my situation. We all have our views, and I'd love to hear yours expressed (politely) in the comments.
My name is Brooke and I'm here all night. ;)